Depression: Longing for Home at Home

It's different when words are spoken from experience, from understanding because telling someone ‘it's okay’ when they are totally not okay is like telling a caged bird that it is free to do whatever it likes inside the cage.

“It’s alright, everything will be okay. You just think too much.”

“You just think too much.”  These five -word echolalia keeps resonating in the tiny head incessantly.

They poured in remarks of tranquility with hopes to steady a storm which is beyond the reach of its own calm. A point of time where they could feed you no more with words that you had been dying to feast on initially at this rate where you have lost all the motivation to physically and mentally establish your own state of mind to differentiate between what sleeping and being awake is.

Have you ever felt tired even after sleeping for 13 hours in 24 hours a day? Is it really just because you are dead- tired? No, because for a person who suffers from depression, sleep is an escape from reality. You are drained, fatigued and just being told that ‘you think too much’ or ‘being sad is very normal’ isn’t how a depressed person sees the world.

‘Depression’ is an overused term which is taken as a form of sadness. But what the world needs to know is ‘sadness’ is an emotion whereas ‘depression’ is an illness.

Most people take depression lightly by saying that it emotionally makes them drown into a pool of tears, be it a small incident or because they are traumatised with ‘little thoughts’ without ever realising that it was not just crying; perhaps crying is a reaction to depression or an escape from the grasp of mental abuse. Maybe it makes them feel better.

The most disturbing facts about a person being depressed are that they tend to shut themselves out from the social norms of life and have the tendencies to blame themselves about the silliest things that someone else wouldn’t consider as something worth a thought for. We never know what is going on inside the mind of a depressed person.  With echolalia like “the world will be better without me,” they feel that their existence is lower than a snake’s belly. Rather depression is a maladaptive hibernation reflex triggered by learned helplessness.

We have all experienced the pain of being misunderstood, or a word misunderstood, which robs us of the pleasure of life and interests; but it’s been realised that we can never rely on our own judgement while being depressed.

The WHO estimates that more than 300 million people worldwide suffer from depression. It’s also the world’s leading cause of disability.

Depression may be difficult to spot in older adults. Symptoms like unexplained memory loss, sleeping disorder, or withdrawal from social activities could be signs of early Alzheimer’s disease. Depression is said to be most common in ages between 18 to 25 years and women are twice as likely as men to have had a depressive episode, according to the World Health Organization (WHO) Trusted Source.

The analysis which is based on existing studies that looked at more than 3.5 million people in more than 90 countries, confirmed that depression affects far more females than males. There were no gender differences in risk for crises or situations involving finances, work and marriage.

We should be well aware by now that depression is ranked as the single largest contributor to global-wide disability. At its worst, depression can lead to suicidal thoughts which have consequently taken the lives of many people around the world who were left untreated and labelled as a kind of sad normalcy. Over approximately 8,00,000 people lost their lives due to suicide every year and suicide attempt continues with the number of depression towering in medical health care line. Suicide is, in fact, the second leading cause of death in 15-29-year-olds.

Many of the cases of depression or dysthymia between the age of 12- 25 years because of the expectations relatives and family have on that particular person. How can a family be the solution, when the family does not give a listening ear?

This ascertaining accuracy relatively determines a concept that while other people see one’s capabilities, the family sees competition.

As a result to this, when a depressed person tries to talk about problems or about the situation that disturbs them to their families, they were rejected and were silenced instead saying ‘it’s normal’ and when something (death could be the worst that could result to it) happens, they blame him or her for not opening up to them.

We can never understand what is happening inside the mind of a depressed person neither can we make out if one is depressed because all they felt was a tough world made even tougher by the family or society they live in, which in turn accept  them to be efficient robots in order to survive.

Stress can make depression worse.

One important aspect that one can prevent unwanted deaths (as such of a depressed person) is to give a helping hand by talking and initiating with them even in small matters making sure we give enough comforts for them to share their inconveniences, to open a space where they can be comforted so that they can shelter their thoughts in.

We must all understand that we humans were never designed for the sedentary, indoor socially isolated, fast food-laden, sleep-deprived, frenzied pace of modern life, but we were rather designed to delve into the lavishly laden beauty of nature within the magnificent extravagance of human birth.

Depression is just not sadness as many confused it to be, it is more of a deep feeling of nihilism, lack of energy where one tends to overeat or eat nothing (loss of appetite or eating disorder), trying to hold on a thread to survive where nothing seems to matter, motivate or stimulate them.

We should be aware that depression is a diagnosable condition that is classified as a mood disorder and can bring about long-lasting symptoms such as overwhelming sadness, fatigues, and loss of interest in things that used to give them pleasure. It is a mental disturbance in which one faces an existential crisis. For example, one with depression would not want to be around people or be social, yet they do not want to be alone, they don’t want to do anything or even want to stay doing anything. They would not want to die, yet they don’t want to live either.

It is without a doubt that a lot of people who are deeply depressed or discouraged have difficulty and complication realizing that their life will eventually get better one day. It can be from a scientific breakthrough involving treatment, medication and therapy for their condition.

Holding on to your emotion while trying to remain positive

This is for the people who are fighting a battle within, if you are reading this, you are not alone. You can talk about suicide if that makes you feel better. We can recover from feelings of depression and pain because we are made in such a way that we can fight and win over depressive emotion. The good news is depressive emotions are not permanent.

It is never too late to start loving the things around you. Never too late is to cultivate interest even in the smallest, ordinary things: watching the sun setting, feeling the gentle breeze brushing your face, listening to the birds and Chopin, reading masterpieces, joting down your thoughts. Remember pen is mightier than sword.

Feelings of pleasure and happiness will find a route back and when they do, you’ll be glad you were strong enough to continue living. There are a lot of people who can help and is ready to listen to you because what matters is a listening ear and not just hearing it.

It is okay to not be okay sometimes because we are all humans with a purpose to be happier tomorrow and in hopes that the feeling of pain will one day be buried away amongst the many defined ways of survival if we never give up pursuing happiness.

It’s different when words are spoken from experience, from understanding because telling someone ‘it’s okay’ when they are totally not okay is like telling a caged bird that it is free to do whatever it likes inside the cage.

Let’s keep on fighting!!

The author can be reached at Joycepaveine@gmail.com

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