They say, “A girl’s first true love is her father”. I lost my first true love last year, on this day. Today, as we are celebrating his 1st death anniversary, I still get the feeling that he will be back one day, honking the car horn as he drives closer to the gate, startling us all. We would all run to the gate to meet him, except mom, who always walks out slowly, as if unexcited. Well, dad used to say it’s her love language. Dad loved her and knew her far too well. I still wait for him even when I am sitting in his chair, in his office. His pictures on the wall are all too alive to accept the fact that he is gone.
Like every father, my father was our hero. He sacrificed his happiness for our happiness, his luxury of sleep and leisure to provide for us, his desire to give us what we desire. He gave up everything for us.
My dad was the busiest man I knew on earth. Staying idle was never in his routine. He was always busy with one thing or the other. But when it came to spending time with his family, his love and dear ones, he was able to give his undivided attention.
It always amazes me how, dad, after knowing and being the person he is, never found it hard to accept that he had no idea about some things that he didn’t know. His ego never got the better of him when we try to teach him something new. Mom and dad taught us everything we know, but when it came to modern technology and games, dad became our favorite student. He was ever curious, ever ready to learn and acquire new knowledge. There were times when we taught him how to play Chinese checkers, scrabbles and monopoly. In the beginning, he would be entirely clueless of the game and their rules but when we start to play, by nightfall he would have beaten us all in the games. Dad was so invested in learning the things he didn’t know that I believe at the end of his years, he was able to guide all the people who came to him for help.
If you ever ask me who my icon is, without giving it a thought, I’ll say, “My dad”. He is the person I admire the most. He is forever my first love and the person I will be looking for in my man. Dad was not perfect, but he worked on to become the better version of himself everyday that now, he is the only perfect man I know.
Dad being the busy man himself kept us all busy. He would never let us sit idle or being hooked to our smartphone. In our house, we were like ants always doing something or the other and following our commander’s orders. At times it got overwhelming, we would lose patience and try to rebel. He would watch us with patience. I know deep down he must have laughed, looking at us acting like spoiled children.
Dad was known for his loudness and being straightforward. Wherever he went, he brought life to his surrounding. Wherever he represented things, he made sure that everything was in order and interesting. It was never a dull day with him. But it all changed when my beloved dad left us, in silence. It was, and is, the most hurtful thing one can ever go through. If there is another world out there for the soul to live, I believe daddy is busy doing what he does best: making the world better for everyone to live in.
Thotshang Shaiza, my hero, lived his life to the fullest. He didn’t let anything stop him from doing what he loved. He was bold, courageous and fearless. He never cared about what others thought of him. There was nothing that could stop him from doing what he knew was best for his family, or for the society.
Daddy is very much alive in the hearts and the stories of the people I meet everywhere I go. He still lives on.
Poem Written by Soyaphi Shaiza
Life can never be the same,
A year have not had us tamed.
But we’ve reconciled with death,
Ain’t that what you’d say dear dad?
“Take hold of life to your best,
This being soul’s final test.”
Your life lived, in our hearts dwell,
Our life we now will wish well.