FOR MANY FAMILIES from Northeast India, coming to the metro city of India is a dream fulfilled. Parents accept transfers, postings, and jobs in the metro city, hoping to give their children better schools, wider exposure, and greater opportunities. That dream is genuine and noble. But getting our children into a reputed school is only the beginning. A school can provide education, but parents provide direction. The Bible reminds us, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6.
A school can open doors, but parents must help children recognise and walk through them. School admission is only the beginning. We rightly feel proud when our children enter good schools. But education does not end when the school day does. Many families make time to study, play, read and talk with their children. They visit parks and universities, discuss careers, introduce their children to inspiring professionals, attend places of worship together and, most importantly, create opportunities for conversation. These ordinary activities can have an extraordinary influence on a child’s confidence, character and ambitions. As families living in a metro city, we can learn from this example.
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Our children need more than tuition, technology and good schools. They need our presence. Deuteronomy 6:6–7 gives parents a powerful responsibility: “These words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children.”
Notice that Scripture does not say that parents should leave all teaching to schools, teachers or the church. It says “thou shalt teach them.” The home remains the first school, and parents remain the first teachers.
There is an old saying: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” It means that when we live in a new place, we should learn its culture, understand its ways and adapt respectfully to our surroundings. For families from Northeast India living in a metro city, there is wisdom in this.
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Freedom needs guidance. Many parents are deeply committed to their children’s education, and many of our children are doing exceptionally well. However, success can sometimes make parents complacent. We may think, “I studied in a small town or village and still succeeded. My child will find his or her own way.” Children should certainly have freedom to choose their interests and careers. But freedom without guidance can become neglect. We need to know our children’s strengths, weaknesses and interests. If a child is attracted to science, technology, medicine, law, economics, design, sports, music or the arts, have we taken time to understand why? Have we introduced them to professionals, universities and career possibilities?
Helping a child make an informed choice is not the same as forcing a career upon them. The Bible says: “Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.” Proverbs 15:22. When Parents are busy, who is raising the child?
Many Northeast families have strong church and community networks. This is one of our greatest strengths. But we must ask ourselves whether our community commitments sometimes become greater than our commitment to our own households. We may spend hours helping other people’s children while our own children sit alone at home. We may counsel young people in church while failing to ask our own son or daughter, “How was your day?”
When parents are unavailable, smartphones, social media, online games and entertainment can easily fill the gap. Over time, reading may decrease, attention may suffer, and academic goals may become unclear. By Class XII, the consequences may become visible. A child may choose subjects because they seem easy rather than because they match their potential, or enter college without a clear direction. Regret comes too late. Parents may eventually ask, “Why doesn’t my child have a goal?” or “Why didn’t we guide our child earlier?” By then, parents may be nearing retirement. They may have earned promotions, built homes and achieved professional success. But time cannot be bought back. The years between nursery and Class XII pass quickly. A child who is eight today may be eighteen before we realise how much childhood has disappeared. That is why the time to build a relationship with our children is now.
Journey with your children. Do not wait until Class X or XII to become interested in your child’s future. Begin early. Know your child’s development and interests. Talk about books, school, friends and dreams. Read together. Play and cycle together. Eat together. Visit universities. Introduce your children to mentors and professionals. Go to church or a place of worship together. Above all, talk to your children. Sometimes the most valuable gift a parent can give is not money, tuition or a new smartphone, but twenty minutes of undivided attention.
Children need parents who can be teachers, counsellors, mentors and disciplinarians, but often, they simply need parents who can be friends. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us: “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”Let them know that failure in an examination does not mean failure in life. Expect them to work hard and develop their God-given potential, but make sure they also know that your love is not dependent on their marks.
Our greatest investment: We invest in houses, vehicles, careers, savings and property. But our greatest investment should be in the children entrusted to us. Psalm 127:3 says: “Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD.” A reputed school can provide a foundation. Tuition can strengthen academic preparation. Technology can expand knowledge. But nothing can replace a parent who sits beside a child and says: “I believe in you. Let us work together.” That simple message can change a child’s life. Let us return to our first responsibility.
My humble appeal to young parents from Northeast India living in a metro city is this: Do not mistake school admission for educational success. Do not mistake financial success for family success. And do not mistake community involvement for fulfilling your responsibility to your own children. God has given many of us an opportunity to build a better life in the metro. Let us use that opportunity not only to earn a living but also to raise a generation that is educated, confident, compassionate, spiritually grounded, and prepared to become pillars of society and the nation.
The Apostle Paul reminds us: “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord.” Colossians 3:23. That includes parenting. Our work is not only in the office. Our ministry is not only in the church. One of our most important ministries is happening quietly in our homes. My wife often reminds me: “If you spend time with your children while they are with you, they will spend time with you when they grow up. If you don’t spend time with them now, they may one day tell you, ‘I am busy.’” Those words carry a simple truth. Childhood does not return.
Let us not wait until retirement to discover that we earned everything except the time we needed most. Our children are not simply our future. They are our responsibility today. “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15.
(The views expressed are personal. The author is Pastor, The Journey Church, New Delhi. The author can be reached at letlal.haokip@gmail.com)
